Aug 18, 2021
This podcast is very very late,
because my perfectionist brain hijacked my body. The best news was
although it was still happening, I knew WHAT was happening and so I
had no feear. It was an invitation, as always, to feel.
I invite you to slow down. To start to make room for the subconscious thoughts running roughshod in your mindbody.
When we don't make space for feeling, we need the system to protect us and it does just that, by using it's only tools, sensations, physiological experiences. As the saying goes, you got to feel it to heal it. (wish I had actually said that on the podcast).
Verywell Mind breathing exercises -Ihttps://www.verywellmind.com/abdominal-breathing-2584115
[00:00:00] Welcome to Move With Deb. I'm Deb your friendly
neuroplastician. And this is a podcast that explores the
relationship between the body and the mind from a health at every
size, judgment, free perspective. I teach you how developing a new
internal conversation based on curiosity, self friendship and
simple neuro-plasticity techniques can rewire your bodymind out of
pain and emotional overwhelm to help you build the rich full life
that you want to live. Disclaimer, this is not a replacement for
[00:00:50] Hi, and welcome to Move With Deb. This is
episode number 27. And it's 1, 2, 3, 4, 4 days late. And I am doing
it any way.
[00:01:07] I have been on the hamster wheel of my own
mind, body experience, which should not be a surprise to anyone. I
think I described that a lot with you and one of the reasons why is
because I want to share that there is no perfect place that you are
going to get to. So I'm sorry to break the news to you. That you
are always going to have a mind. You're always going to have a
body. And there is always a world that you inhabit and there's
always this internal conversation happening. And there is no point
in the future with which you have this end until it ends. That's
kind of exciting and amazing when you let it be that
[00:02:01] Here's why. There is always the opportunity. To
learn from what is happening right now.
[00:02:10] And so what is happening right now for me is
that I am witnessing my mind and body wanting to be in a rush to
get out of my current lived experience. I am trying to integrate
myself in a new job that is pushing all of my perfectionist
[00:02:33] I am in a rush to get out of this experience of
feeling like I am failing. And my body is helping me. Cause my
brain is saying this moment is absolutely intolerable. And then my
body's like, we got you. We're going to help you. We're going to
take you away from this moment that you are telling us is
[00:03:01] But the only tools that we have to take you
away are your ADHD brain. And your body full of sensations. And
that's what's happening. And I am listening in a new and beautiful
[00:03:18] And that's what I mean by, you don't really
ever arrive, and why that is a good thing. Because what I get to do
now is learn. What I get to do now. is slow down. And meet myself
with self friendship.
[00:03:36] When we're in a rush, there are lots of things
happening. The adrenaline coursing through us. We're fueled by
fear. We have a drive for action. We need to do something, hit
somebody, yell at somebody, make a change. Just take action. That
is a drive for something. Anything. To be different than what it
[00:04:05] The problem with that. Is that it hides what is
actually not a problem that needs to be solved or changed. It hides
the thoughts and the feelings that create the fear. The answer when
we're talking about rewriting our neural pathways, reprogramming
our brain away from fear, pain, emotional overwhelm and anxiety is
to slow down and practice feeling what we feel is intolerable to be
[00:04:44] And the reason why I say practice. Is because
you are not going to be good at it. If you know that you're not
going to be good at it you can give yourself some grace. So we have
ourselves. We watch ourselves and then we assess. We talk to
ourselves. We noticed the changes happening. We're like, why are
you in a rush. What are you afraid of? Why is your heart beating so
fast? What is got you so scared. And then we listen for the
answers. I want to encourage you to slow down.
[00:05:30] And then I want to encourage you if you feel
like you don't want to slow down or you can't slow down to just
notice that. To ask yourself why. To check in with your body. When
you say, Hey body, I noticed that we are treating everything like
an emergency. What does your body and your mind say to you in
[00:05:59] Getting good at that self conversation. Is an
essential part of healing. Because whether or not you need to be in
a rush unless there is an actual fire happening, there's an actual
emergency that demands your attention right now in this very
second, that is absolutely life or death, everything else is
technically not an emergency. But that does stop our body from
experiencing that same adrenaline, fear, body response as if there
was an emergency. And the answer is not to tell yourself. God,
you're so fucking stupid. There's nothing to be afraid of. That's
not helpful. It is in fact to say, Hey body, I notice that you are
feeling afraid. I noticed. That you are treating this moment like
it is an emergency. What is happening? What do you need? Why are
you doing that? What are you making this mean? And begin to just
slow down the experience between an event and a
[00:07:21] Those thoughts and feelings that we're not
letting ourselves experience, get to know, get to be friendly with.
They're still there. They're just in our subconscious. They're just
in there running around causing havoc. Like mice in the walls.
Making a mess. But we're not consciously aware of it.
[00:07:48] And it's not the same thing as fixing. It's
kind of like turning on all the lights.
[00:07:54] Seeing what's there. Getting to just be. With
[00:08:01] That's what healing actually is. Being with
[00:08:07] With a sense of friendship and worthiness. The
belief that we are valuable, worthy, loved. And creating our
pathways towards that belief.
[00:08:22] And you might have all the evidence from your
entire lifetime of why you believe that that is not
[00:08:30] But I really want you to know that you are born
worthy and whole, there's nothing you can do. And it doesn't matter
what anybody else says. That you are a hundred percent worthy and
[00:08:45] So I think the next thing I'd like to do is
just offer you this opportunity to do a little breathing. Our
breath is this kind of beautiful cornerstone of our nervous system.
And it's one of those body functions that happens on its own.
Right. We like that. We like the fact that we just keep breathing,
but also we can apply conscious practice to it. We can influence
our breathing. You have control over these motor patterns. There's
an exercise called 4 7, 8 breathing. It's called the relaxing
breath. And that's kind of like a natural tranquilizer for the
nervous system. And there's a whole list on verywellmind.com of a
whole bunch of breathing exercises. So I will link to that in the
show notes. They say this one is best to perform seated with your
back straight and as you get familiar with it, you can perform it
while lying in bed. I just say do it when you can, where you can,
whatever feels comfortable for you.
[00:09:55] I'm going to read you the steps.
[00:09:58] Number 1 place and keep the tip of your tongue
against the ridge of tissue behind your upper front teeth for the
duration of the exercise.
[00:10:07] 2. Completely exhale through your mouth. Making
a whooshing sound.
[00:10:13] 3. Close your mouth. And inhale quietly through
your nose to a mental count of four.
[00:10:21] 4 Hold your breath for a count of
[00:10:25] 5. Exhale completely through your mouth. Making
a whoosh sound to a count of eight. And if you haven't done
conscious breathing practices. Or you have some kind of lung
constriction, it may be difficult to hold your breath for a count
of seven or breathe out for a count of eight. And that is fine.
Just do what feels good for you.
[00:10:52] You can work to the place of challenge. We also
want to just stay there and not push past it. Your breathing. has a
lot of muscular activity. There's your diaphragm. There's the
muscles in between your ribs. So just like working out any other
kind of muscle, we get better the more we practice that. We get
more flexible the more we practice it. This is why breathing can be
very helpful as a technique both for building lung capacity,
building the capacity for breathing while moving and while
exerting, but also for calming the nervous system. So, if it's not
a practice you normally do, it may feel uncomfortable and that
discomfort may be a little activating.
[00:11:43] If you feel activated. Slow down, ground
yourself. Stop if you need to stop. Come back to the
[00:11:51] So I'm going to place and keep the tip of my
tongue against the ridge of the tissue, behind my upper front
teeth. Then completely exhale through your mouth, making a
[00:12:07] Close your mouth and inhale quietly through
your nose to a mental count of four.
[00:12:16] Hold your breath for a count of
[00:12:24] Exhale completely through your mouth, making a
whooshing sound to a count of eight.
[00:12:39] And just repeat it.
[00:12:40] That's where I'm going to leave it today. And I
try to just give you little tips. Little takeaways. One little
[00:12:50] If you're curious about the mind, body process.
About learning to rewire pain. About beginning to understand the
relationship between your thoughts, feelings, sensations, stress,
all the things that happen in our body mind because we are
gloriously human and you are wanting things to be different than
how they are. Please hop on a curiosity call with me. I am here to
help and explain to you, in the very best ways that I know how how
it is to have a body.
[00:13:25] Find more information about me and the work I do on my website. Debmalkin.com. Follow me on Instagram @ movewithdeb. And I will see you later. I hope you all have an amazing week.