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Move With Deb the Podcast


Aug 18, 2021

This podcast is very very late, because my perfectionist brain hijacked my body. The best news was although it was still happening, I knew WHAT was happening and so I had no feear. It was an invitation, as always, to feel. 

I invite you to slow down. To start to make room for the subconscious thoughts running roughshod in your mindbody. 

When we don't make space for feeling, we need the system to protect us and it does just that, by using it's only tools, sensations, physiological experiences. As the saying goes, you got to feel it to heal it. (wish I had actually said that on the podcast). 

Verywell Mind breathing exercises -Ihttps://www.verywellmind.com/abdominal-breathing-2584115

Please feel free to reach out to me via instagram @movewithdeb or book a curiosity call at https://calendly.com/paincoachdeb

My website is www.debmalkin.com

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to Move With Deb. I'm Deb your friendly neuroplastician. And this is a podcast that explores the relationship between the body and the mind from a health at every size, judgment, free perspective. I teach you how developing a new internal conversation based on curiosity, self friendship and simple neuro-plasticity techniques can rewire your bodymind out of pain and emotional overwhelm to help you build the rich full life that you want to live. Disclaimer, this is not a replacement for medical care.

[00:00:50] Hi, and welcome to Move With Deb. This is episode number 27. And it's 1, 2, 3, 4, 4 days late. And I am doing it any way. 

[00:01:07] I have been on the hamster wheel of my own mind, body experience, which should not be a surprise to anyone. I think I described that a lot with you and one of the reasons why is because I want to share that there is no perfect place that you are going to get to. So I'm sorry to break the news to you. That you are always going to have a mind. You're always going to have a body. And there is always a world that you inhabit and there's always this internal conversation happening. And there is no point in the future with which you have this end until it ends. That's kind of exciting and amazing when you let it be that way. 

[00:02:01] Here's why. There is always the opportunity. To learn from what is happening right now. 

[00:02:10] And so what is happening right now for me is that I am witnessing my mind and body wanting to be in a rush to get out of my current lived experience. I am trying to integrate myself in a new job that is pushing all of my perfectionist buttons. 

[00:02:33] I am in a rush to get out of this experience of feeling like I am failing. And my body is helping me. Cause my brain is saying this moment is absolutely intolerable. And then my body's like, we got you. We're going to help you. We're going to take you away from this moment that you are telling us is completely intolerable. 

[00:03:01] But the only tools that we have to take you away are your ADHD brain. And your body full of sensations. And that's what's happening. And I am listening in a new and beautiful way. 

[00:03:18] And that's what I mean by, you don't really ever arrive, and why that is a good thing. Because what I get to do now is learn. What I get to do now. is slow down. And meet myself with self friendship. 

[00:03:36] When we're in a rush, there are lots of things happening. The adrenaline coursing through us. We're fueled by fear. We have a drive for action. We need to do something, hit somebody, yell at somebody, make a change. Just take action. That is a drive for something. Anything. To be different than what it is. 

[00:04:05] The problem with that. Is that it hides what is actually not a problem that needs to be solved or changed. It hides the thoughts and the feelings that create the fear. The answer when we're talking about rewriting our neural pathways, reprogramming our brain away from fear, pain, emotional overwhelm and anxiety is to slow down and practice feeling what we feel is intolerable to be felt. 

[00:04:44] And the reason why I say practice. Is because you are not going to be good at it. If you know that you're not going to be good at it you can give yourself some grace. So we have ourselves. We watch ourselves and then we assess. We talk to ourselves. We noticed the changes happening. We're like, why are you in a rush. What are you afraid of? Why is your heart beating so fast? What is got you so scared. And then we listen for the answers. I want to encourage you to slow down. 

[00:05:30] And then I want to encourage you if you feel like you don't want to slow down or you can't slow down to just notice that. To ask yourself why. To check in with your body. When you say, Hey body, I noticed that we are treating everything like an emergency. What does your body and your mind say to you in response? 

[00:05:59] Getting good at that self conversation. Is an essential part of healing. Because whether or not you need to be in a rush unless there is an actual fire happening, there's an actual emergency that demands your attention right now in this very second, that is absolutely life or death, everything else is technically not an emergency. But that does stop our body from experiencing that same adrenaline, fear, body response as if there was an emergency. And the answer is not to tell yourself. God, you're so fucking stupid. There's nothing to be afraid of. That's not helpful. It is in fact to say, Hey body, I notice that you are feeling afraid. I noticed. That you are treating this moment like it is an emergency. What is happening? What do you need? Why are you doing that? What are you making this mean? And begin to just slow down the experience between an event and a reaction. 

[00:07:21] Those thoughts and feelings that we're not letting ourselves experience, get to know, get to be friendly with. They're still there. They're just in our subconscious. They're just in there running around causing havoc. Like mice in the walls. Making a mess. But we're not consciously aware of it. 

[00:07:48] And it's not the same thing as fixing. It's kind of like turning on all the lights. 

[00:07:54] Seeing what's there. Getting to just be. With ourselves. 

[00:08:01] That's what healing actually is. Being with ourselves. 

[00:08:07] With a sense of friendship and worthiness. The belief that we are valuable, worthy, loved. And creating our pathways towards that belief. 

[00:08:22] And you might have all the evidence from your entire lifetime of why you believe that that is not true. 

[00:08:30] But I really want you to know that you are born worthy and whole, there's nothing you can do. And it doesn't matter what anybody else says. That you are a hundred percent worthy and lovable. 

[00:08:45] So I think the next thing I'd like to do is just offer you this opportunity to do a little breathing. Our breath is this kind of beautiful cornerstone of our nervous system. And it's one of those body functions that happens on its own. Right. We like that. We like the fact that we just keep breathing, but also we can apply conscious practice to it. We can influence our breathing. You have control over these motor patterns. There's an exercise called 4 7, 8 breathing. It's called the relaxing breath. And that's kind of like a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system. And there's a whole list on verywellmind.com of a whole bunch of breathing exercises. So I will link to that in the show notes. They say this one is best to perform seated with your back straight and as you get familiar with it, you can perform it while lying in bed. I just say do it when you can, where you can, whatever feels comfortable for you. 

[00:09:55] I'm going to read you the steps. 

[00:09:58] Number 1 place and keep the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue behind your upper front teeth for the duration of the exercise. 

[00:10:07] 2. Completely exhale through your mouth. Making a whooshing sound. 

[00:10:13] 3. Close your mouth. And inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four. 

[00:10:21] 4 Hold your breath for a count of seven. 

[00:10:25] 5. Exhale completely through your mouth. Making a whoosh sound to a count of eight. And if you haven't done conscious breathing practices. Or you have some kind of lung constriction, it may be difficult to hold your breath for a count of seven or breathe out for a count of eight. And that is fine. Just do what feels good for you. 

[00:10:52] You can work to the place of challenge. We also want to just stay there and not push past it. Your breathing. has a lot of muscular activity. There's your diaphragm. There's the muscles in between your ribs. So just like working out any other kind of muscle, we get better the more we practice that. We get more flexible the more we practice it. This is why breathing can be very helpful as a technique both for building lung capacity, building the capacity for breathing while moving and while exerting, but also for calming the nervous system. So, if it's not a practice you normally do, it may feel uncomfortable and that discomfort may be a little activating. 

[00:11:43] If you feel activated. Slow down, ground yourself. Stop if you need to stop. Come back to the exercise. 

[00:11:51] So I'm going to place and keep the tip of my tongue against the ridge of the tissue, behind my upper front teeth. Then completely exhale through your mouth, making a whooshing sound. 

[00:12:07] Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four. 

[00:12:16] Hold your breath for a count of seven. 

[00:12:24] Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whooshing sound to a count of eight. 

[00:12:39] And just repeat it. 

[00:12:40] That's where I'm going to leave it today. And I try to just give you little tips. Little takeaways. One little nugget. 

[00:12:50] If you're curious about the mind, body process. About learning to rewire pain. About beginning to understand the relationship between your thoughts, feelings, sensations, stress, all the things that happen in our body mind because we are gloriously human and you are wanting things to be different than how they are. Please hop on a curiosity call with me. I am here to help and explain to you, in the very best ways that I know how how it is to have a body. 

[00:13:25] Find more information about me and the work I do on my website. Debmalkin.com. Follow me on Instagram @ movewithdeb. And I will see you later. I hope you all have an amazing week.